"Life as it is. I've lived for over 40 years and I've seen... life as it is. Pain... Misery... Cruelty beyond belief. I've heard all the voices of God's noblest creature. Moans from bundles of filth in the streets. I've been a soldier and a slave. I've seen my comrades fall in battle or die more slowly under the lash in Africa. I've held them at the last moment. These were men who saw life... as it is. Yet they died despairing. No glory. No brave last words. Only their eyes... filled with confusion. Questioning 'why?'. I do not think they were asking why they were dying... but why they had ever lived. When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical is madness. To surrender dreams, this may be madness. To seek treasure, where there is only trash. Too much sanity may be madness. And maddest of all: to see life as it is and not as it should be."

Miguel de Cervantes

Truth indeed rather alleviates than hurts,

and will always bear up against falsehood,

as oil does above water.
Miguel de Cervantes

"religion, therefore, as i now ask you arbitrarily to take it, shall mean for us the feelings, acts, and experiences of individual men in their solitude, so far as they apprehend themselves to stand in relation to whatever they may consider the divine. " /william james/

...

pisitasa sain nädalavahetusel tegeleda religioonipsühholoogiaga.

teisipäeval on eksam. tunnistan ausalt, et praegu ei ole ma veel valmis väärikalt oma teadmisi näitama, aga teisipäeval ehk juba olen.

The true meaning of religion is thus not simply morality, but morality touched by emotion.
Matthew Arnold (1822 - 1888), Literature and Dogma

Pilt pärineb aadressilt http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

"mõtle, mis ehmatus,

kui jälgid üht

huvipakkuvat inimest kaugelt

binokliga,

ja nii vaadates avastad, et

ta jälgib sind – binokliga."

/neeme põder/

ma üritan nüüd uuesti kirjutama hakata.

...

olen vahepeal veidi jälle lugenud.

pooleli on:

tommy hellsten "teadja"

ja

vladimir nabokov "kutse tapalavale".

Never read a book through merely because you have begun it.
John Witherspoon

do I want to speak of the miracle of our Lord's divine transformation? not really, no. I don't want to talk about his divinity. I'd rather talk about his humanity. I mean, you know, how he lived his life, here on Earth. His kindness, his tolerance... listen, here's what I think. I think that we can't go around... measuring our goodness by what we don't do. by what we deny ourselves, what we resist, and who we exclude. I think... we've got to measure goodness by what we embrace, what we create... and who we include.

...

tsitaat filmist "chocolat", mis meenub,

kui tuleb teha otsustusi, mis mõjutavad inimeste vabadust.

In the truest sense,

freedom cannot be bestowed;

it must be achieved.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

kar wai wong "my blueberry nights"

film sõltuvustest. joodiklus, mängukirg, aga eelkõige sõltuvust teisest.

...

elizabeth: so what's wrong with the Blueberry Pie?

jeremy: there's nothing wrong with the Blueberry Pie, just people make other choices. you can't blame the Blueberry Pie, it's just... no one wants it.

elizabeth: wait! i want a piece.

...

film sellest, et mõnel inimesel veab ja ta pääseb inimsõltuvusest vaid aastaga,

et jõuda tõelise kohtumiseni.

...

see film oli nii õigel ajal nii õiges kohas, olin oma mõtetega just sealmaal.

Love is not blind - it sees more, not less.

But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
Rabbi Julius Gordon

kolm olulist raamatut viimasel ajal:

"aitaja vari"

"kuidas kohtuda inimesega?"

"siin ja praegu"

...

kõik kolm räägivad omamoodi olemisest. soovitan abistava elukutse esindajatele julgelt. aga ma arvan, et huvitavaks lugemiseks kõigile.

A doctor saves lives - It's up to people to create lives that are worth saving.
Philip Gold

vaatasin tagasi paari päeva eest kirjutatud postitusele ja imestasin, et nimestikust on välja jäänud paljud head filmid. niisiis, mõnepäevane postitus kehtib sealses ajas ja tänane postitus kehtib siinses ajas.

...

vaatasin üle ja üritasin tunnetada, millised filmid on mulle praegu olulised.

match point, shortbus, sügisball, hullumeelsus, возвращение, hotel rwanda, paris je t'aime, munich, butterfly effect, i heart huckabees, miehen työ, babel, brokeback mountain, scoop, instinct, y tu mamá también, love in the time of cholera, seven years in tibet, the thomas crown affair, meet joe black, the game, the silence of the lambs, entrapment, the cider house rules, wonder boys, sideways, p.s.

The words that enlighten the soul

are more precious than jewels.
Hazrat Inayat Khan

kes ma olen?

kust ma tulen?

kuhu ma lähen?

...

otsin endas oma kutsumuse kohta.

milleks olen ma siia ilma kutsutud?

Nothing contributes so much to tranquilizing the mind as a steady purpose -
a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.
Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (1797 - 1851)

eile õhtul oli mul väga mõjus kogemus. kell oli umbes viis ja tegin kohtumaja suitsuruumis päeva viimast, kui sisse astus kolleeg A. väliselt olin ma väga rahulik, aga peas keerlesid mõtted ning südames tunded. päike paistis pilvede vahelt ja selle kiiri oli suitsuses ruumis näha. ja A vaatas mulle otsa, jäi korraks nagu mõttesse, siis istus ja ütles ehk õhkõrn küsival toonil "see rahu on praegu vaid väline." ning kui me olime mõnda aega istunud, tundus mulle, et ta jälgib mind tähelepanelikult ning ütlesin "sa oled nii uuriv" ja ta vastas, et selle taga on tegelikult mõttekäik sellest, kuidas ta saaks mul lihtsalt lasta olla ja mitte sekkuda.

see oli mõjus.

jah, seal oli ehedat kontakti.

Be sincere; be brief; be seated.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

tegelikult mulle igasugused edetabelid ja parem-halvem järjestused väga ei meeldi, kuid otsustasin teha enda arvamuse järgi filmide TOP10. see on hetkeseis ja võib iga kell jälle muutuda.

1. sideways

2. hotel rwanda

3. requiem for a dream

4. schindler's list

5. memento

6. magnolia

7. little miss sunshine

8. gladiator

9. sleepless in seattle

10. groundhog day

The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".
H. Allen Smith

sel nädalal olen tegelenud liitlaste otsimisega.

Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, use that something to support their own existence.
Frank Zappa

lyrics of grey blue eyes

i feel for the light
your glory was lost that night
and no mind can't get me right
and now I'm praying that you'll find me out
stone, stone has pulled me down
but my faith has got me bound to your grey blue eyes
oh, oh
oh, oh

don't forget my broken heart
you remember it from the start
you made it and it's all a part
of your grey blue eyes
oh, oh
oh, oh

you're gone and I know I'm dead
i've lost my way
can't find me in your grey blue eyes
grey blue eyes
grey blue eyes
grey blue eyes

We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us,
with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke,
and a presumption that once our eyes watered.
Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

täna oli religioonipsühholoogia esimene loeng. ma arvan, et see aine hakkab mulle meeldima hoolimata sellest, et algab hommikuti kell 8. ja üldsegi mitte selle pärast, et lehtsaar tundub lihtsalt muhe olevat, vaid selle pärast, et ta kõneleb loogiliselt ja struktureeritult, aga mitte steriilselt. peamine on aga see, et teema huvitab mind ning iga paari lause tagant oleksin ma tahtnud paus nuppu vajutada, et veidi seedida. esimene loeng polnud küll üldse keeruline, aga kõik saab ju alguse alusprintsiipidest. ürita tegeleda religioonipsühholoogiaga kui mõisted 'religioon' ja 'psühholoogia' alles tahavad endale tähendusi uues kontekstis.

Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak,
men mistook magic for medicine;
now, when science is strong and religion weak,
men mistake medicine for magic.
Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin (1973) "Science and Scientism"

pole jälle mõnda aega kirjutanud.

teen võla tasa.

võlg kelle ees?

...

ühel õhtul astusin meeleheitesse ja seal mõnda aega olnud, astusin edasi ükskõiksusesse. elul ja maailmal ei ole mõtet iseeneses. mõtet ei ole väjas. mõtte saab leida ja anda vaid iseenda sisemusest.

mis saab siis, kui sisemus on tühi?

...

vaatasime leelega üks õhtu fotosid ning minu pildi peale näidates ütles ta "issi" sellise hästi susiseva s-iga.

...

vahepeal olen saanud üht-teist lugeda.

viimane oli coelho "portobello nõid", mis mulle hästi sobis ning minus mingil moel kandma jäi. lõik siit, fraas sealt ja see tunne, mis nii püsivalt muutlik.

eelviimane oli steinbecki "hiirtest ja inimestest", mille ma sõna otseses mõttes alla neelasin. lihtsuse sügavus on mõnikord lausa hämmastav. sõnatuks ja hingetuks tegev. või vastupidi - hingestatuks - tegev.

You pile up enough tomorrows and
you'll be left with nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays.
I don't know about you, but I'd like to make today worth remembering.
Meredith Willson

tühjusest ja valust võib üle saada, kui teha tühjusest õpetaja.

...

tegelikult on küsimusi kaks.

kes on jumal minu jaoks?

ja

kes olen mina jumala jaoks?

Maybe you have to know darkness

before you can appreciate the light.
Madeleine L'engle

nädalavahetus vanemate juures

me says:

sorry to say it but i still don't get the paradox of how therapists and helpers are so messed up themselves sometimes (myself included).

she says:

it's what gives us insight

she says:

people who don't suffer would never have the patience or understanding to treat others

me says:

but that explanes only one part of it. why to choose a career where you can get even more hurt or where you are faced with your fears and troubles most of the time?

she says:

familiarity

she says:

we feel comfortable with what we know - even if it is painful

me says:

but that is self-destructive. yes, there is also development but also maso-tendencies

she says:

highest of highs and the lowest of lows

she says:

beats flat-lining

me says:

and you think that is healthy?

she says:

differently risky!!

she says:

I know I couldn't do a 9 - 5 office job my emotions would kill me!

she says:

I know my job is the right one for me

she says:

but it has it's draw-backs of course

me says:

it's like livin on the edge all the time

me says:

BUT

me says:

I want to stay as close to the edge as I canwithout going over.

Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.

Kurt Vonnegut

she says:

ha ha - that's it exactly!

After ten years in therapy,

my psychologist told me something very touching,

he said, “no hablo ingles."

Dennis Wolfberg

viimased õhtud on olnud kultuurirohked. kirjandus ja muusika.
täna käisin huun-huur-tu kontserdil, mis oli tõeliselt mõnus.
tekkis selle muusikaga hea kontakt ja hullud visuaalsed pildiseeriad läksid selle peale peas käima.

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body.
Oliver Wendell Holmes